Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Underworld Awakening(crazy spoiler)

SO this is a long spoiler/rant post. 
You have been warned.

I was very excited when I found out that it's coming out.

Watched it during CNY,
and was disappointed.

I'm a huge fan of Underworld *cough*and Kate Beckinsale*cough*
but this is really disappointing.

the spoiler/synopsis from what I remember.

Starts off with Selene and Micheal were running for their lives.

Micheal got shot, falls into sea,

Selene jumps into sea and tries to wake him up in water.
(Because if water can't wake him up shaking him and calling his name in the water can)

Bomb falls near/between them. 
Of course the bomb went off.

News about vamp and werewolf cleansing spread.

Selene wakes up frozen after being released
by unknown subject.

Selene kills every guard who tries to stop her

Selene runs away. Of course she does.

Selene investigates.

Selene finds out that she has been frozen for 12 years.

Selene sees visions and follows them.

Cute guy fellow Vamp finds Selene

Together they saved a little girl who is hunted down by werewolves
and run away from super persistent werewolves who use cars as skateboards to hunt them down.

Wolves get to their van,
bites the little girl,
little girl turns into smuf ghost crazy scary looking thing
and rips off werewolf's head
with her bare fingers.

They reach safe house of cute Vamp's clan
and are unwelcomed by the clan
because Selene is a blood traitor. =X

and blood traitors are as bad as mudbloods

Clan doctor heals little girl by feeding her blood.

Little girl turns out to be Selene's daughter.

Werewolves find safe house


Shooting, ripping, slashing, breaking...

Selene meets crazy big werewolf who is immune to silver
and can heal itself.

Selene gets knocked out (I think, I no remember)

Selene wakes up and little girl was given to werewolves because clan leader thinks they should stay passive and live in peace instead of fight and die.

Cute Vamp died because he was bitten by werewolf,
Selene ressurects him by cutting his abdominal area
inserting her hand
and squeezing his heart.

like what Neo did to Trinity in The Matrix I forgot which sequel. 

Selene goes after werewolves.

Selene is helped by  inspector  detective who's wife was a Vamp.

Selene finds out that the werewolves are actually those who do the blood test
to determine who is and isn't werewolf/vamps.

Little girl is used because she is daughter of a hybrid+super vamp.

Little girl is used to create serum to create crazy big werewolf.

Selene attacks in her cool bombs and bullets style.

Selene finds Micheal who she believe has died, frozen.

Selene defrosts Micheal and continue killing werewolves en the way to save little girl.

Selene saves little girl.

Little girl turns into ghost like ugliness to fight off werewolves.

Cute vamp comes back to help,

Detective helps

all normal werewolves die.

Crazy big werewolf comes to fight Selene again
See what I mean when I say crazy big?

Selene gets tossed around like a toy

and still no broken bones

Selene kills werewolf with wits.

The end.


No wait,

Little girl sees visions. 

They try to find Micheal.

The end.


Now the rant.

How can Selene give birth 12 years ago
and still look so hot without exercise, stretch mark on her belly, or a C-section scar?

So vamps can heal themselves so there won't be a C-section scar,

explain why is she still so hot.

Because she is freaking Kate Beckinsale. So fuck logic. =D

The whole show is less than 1.5 hours.
Because if they extend it more,
there would be too much fake stuff going on.

The previous Underworld movies all have werewolves/vamps jumping here and there
but for this one,
I think there are too much digital/computer stuff going on.

The story line is simple and clear
but a lot of stuff are not mentioned/explained,
Like how she's still so hot. 

Like why are humans suddenly aware that vamps/werewolves actually existed.
or why Selene doesn't have stretch marks.

It's a disappointment to me,
but I still love action/vampire-werewolf war(except twilight) movies.

There's bound to be a 5th installment so I hope it's better next time.

Though I don't know who they're gonna fight next.

All pictures are stolen from Google, 
because F*ck SOPA.

that's what J_Fish has to say~ Au Revoir~

p.s. The supposedly 12 (or less) year old daughter of Selene and Micheal is played by an actress who is almost 19. She was pretty convincing as a 12 year old. =/


  1. Dont think Im going cinema for this but it's a must watch. XD

  2. Watch it at home then. Not really worth paying IMO. =X

  3. yeah! very dizzy watching the show! move too fast ad!

  4. First to answer 2 questions up there you asked.

    1st, Selena having a daughter. well, there's something called in vitro as well as cloning & all that stuff that has to do with genetics you put together in a lab. guess no further explanation here how the little girl came about.

    2nd, Humans finding out about the non-humans. well, before this, the guy who started up all these mess centuries ago - Alexander Corvinus, had been doing all he can all these while to contain the war between the 2 species from the humans in general, tracking them & cleaning up the mess they left after fights. but since the poor dude was killed by his son in the 2nd movie (the one that got Selena immune to sunlight), nobody had been cleaning up the mess & with the vamps & lycans having no intention to hide themselves, soon everyone knows they exist. explanation done.

    I do agree that the movie's disappointing though. all complexities & drama in the 3 movies that came before were ALL LOST in this one. the line's damn simple & Selena herself don't do much other than killing, killing & more killing. good movie if you leave your brains outside the theater, bad movie if you compare with the 3 that came before. & oh, one more thing. the whole thing's too bloody damn SHORT!!

  5. In Vitro is possible but they still need to put the embryo back into Selene for it to grow. Unless they used a different woman.

    Cloning is not logical because well if she's a clone (presumably of Selene) she wouldn't have Micheal's visions.