Saturday, 28 May 2011

To learn or not to learn?

Just came back from a drinking (non-alcoholic) session with my buddies.
Dawn, Mr D and Bryan.

The reason I don't say Mr D's name
is I can never remember if it's Darrick,
or Derrick,
or Darick,
or Derick.
(ok, it's totally not the last one)

So yeah,
Mr D is way easier. =)

we talked about relationships
and the "I dun wanna get married" topic resurfaced.

Dawn and Bryan are in (two different) relationships 
and Mr D is like the master of relationships
(but he's just is taking a holiday right now)

So I sorta got gang raped without the rape.

They used this metaphor,
you know the one about rocks and diamonds that people like to use
(for some reason... which I never figured out).

They said: (well Bryan started it)
"you're looking for a diamond, but diamonds don't just lie around and wait for you to pick them up. 
When you look around, 
all you see are stones.
But if you pick one of the stones,
and start cutting it and polishing it,
you might find that that stone is actually a diamond in disguise."

Ok, I paraphrased.
(of course I paraphrased!!)

Then they said:
"If you took a stone and didn't really take time to polish it,
you wouldn't know if it's a diamond. 
You might have missed the diamond you have always been looking for."

And then Mr D took one of his relationships as an example:
He had two choices. (past tense)
The party girl,
or the good girl.

He, being the dare devil,
took the party girl,
because he believed that he could turn her into the good girl
and have the best of both worlds.
(sounds like a chic flick huh)

He was wrong.
She didn't live up to his expectations and he ended it.
(Because of other reasons too)

I have no idea why he used this example 
when they were saying that I should give people time and chances.

He just proved that even though he picked a stone
and tried to change it into a diamond,
if it's a stone, it's a stone.

I have high expectations because I learn from other people's experiences.
What I look for in a guy
is just what other normal girls look for,
with some preference of my own of course.

I say I learn from other people's experience
from articles,
from stories,
from gossip and the other whatevers.

And from there,
I determine what kinda guy I don't want to be involved romantically with.
Because I know if I get into this situation,
I'll send up the same as the experienced people from which the stories came from.

Like I've said a hundred times,
if you get to choose between a stone and a diamond,
which one would you choose?

since we're talking about stones,
to me,
let's say to me all people are precious stones
(because stones and diamonds are just discrimination and unfair)

Let's say I'm looking for a ruby,
I pick up a stone,
and start polishing it,
and it turns out that the stone is a sapphire.
No matter how hard I polish,
cut, clean it,
it will always be a sapphire.

Make sense?

I just want a diamond,
so I search for diamonds.
Rubies will always stay as rubies,
and sapphires will always be sapphires.

I set my target and try to achieve it.
If I get it,
If not,
well I'm always prepared to be single.

Why should I settle down with a sapphire when I want a ruby?

For those who still believe that after polishing a stone,
you might find your diamond,
here's my questions,
how long should you polish it to find out that it actually have been, is, and always will be a stone?
How long should you waste your time before figuring out the ugly truth?

What if you polished the stone for let's say 3 years and decide that it's a stone,
you throw it away without knowing that you're just 0.000000000000000000000001mm away from finding out that that stone really is a diamond,

and the next person comes,
scratches off the surface,
and (voila!) finds  the diamond that you missed out.
You've done all the hard work,
and others took the prize.

If there are people who polish stones,
there surely are diamonds that are ready to be picked up.

Here's the thing:
Are you willing to polish the stones and find that they are not the precious stone that you want and get hurt in the proses?
Or would you rather waste time not doing anything and wait for a precious stone to fall into your lap?

then they came up with a game metaphor: (boys will be boys)
"being in relationships are like collecting XP (Experience points) 
The more you collect,
the bigger your chances of becoming successful"

that's what J_Fish has to say~ Au Revoir~

p.s. FYI, I've never rejected being the stone that needs to be polished,
it's just that not a lot of people (believe me when I say not a lot) wants to polish me.

Ok, that sounds wrong. =P


  1. I like the gang rape part hahaha. I guess sometimes you have to follow your heart, that is what I'm doing now, if after a few years it didn't work out then no choice la, I know I still have you to teman me wahaha

    Da Jie

  2. polish or not to polish, that is a question..:/
    But to be polished or not to be polished, that is also a question..
    LOL xD

  3. Miss da jie, you don't have the right to not work out. I can get away with singlehood because you are going to get married!!!

    If you don't get married then mom might turn the target on me!!


  4. Miss ooi,
    To be polished or not to be polished is a decision, not a question. =p

  5. Nice writing J_fish, interesting, but no matter what stone or diamond or watever, important is feeling n understanding, whichever dun hv this 2 characteristics I just declare as Fail, for long term, these 2 things play the essential part in life :-)